Identity

Recent events in Maharastra have challenged the identity that I had defined myself as an Indian. I am from Bihar and a Brahmin. I am from middle class farmer family who were small zamindar during pre-independence era and are now smaller farmers after land-reform. I thought it was necessary to indicate both my regional and caste identity before hand since all discussions and affiliations in public life in India is defined by these two. Whatever points I make, you have every right to challenge it due to where I hail from and who I am in terms of caste.

I have been deeply disturbed by the direction of politics in India and I have come to conclusion that India as a nation and republic holds very little promise for Biharis. The union has done nothing for Bihar. Not that we want anything from New Delhi, but it does not even guarantee freedom of movement and ability to seek employment in every part of the nation with security. I also believe that we have been vilified and looked down upon in every corner of the nation. We are held responsible for our poverty and wretchedness. Initially, I thought that they looked down upon us since we have bad leaders. But, I realized later that they looked down upon us because the way we speak, our language, food habits, clothes that we wear and the fact that we are poor. Only time they are not prejudiced when we have money, when we speak English(without our accent) and we dress like rich city folks. In short, when we disown our identity or disguise ourselves behind English facade, when they cannot pin us down to our Bihariness, they treat us like normal human beings. Our dignity is not challenged and there are no snide remarks or insinuation.

I suffered all this and never complained. So they( in Delhi, W. Bengal, Assam, Maharashtra) don't like us the way we speak, big deal. People always dislike others who are not like them. Nothing to brood over. Earn your livelihood in honesty and work hard... they dont like us, screw them...we will learn there way, when in Rome live like Romans...we will pick up their accents...it is not rocket science...and then it will be all fine.

So we thought. But, it was not. I was always suspicious when someone tried to do politics based on religion or caste. It just didn't seem right. In Mandal commission, I supported reservation. And in defense, I pointed out that caste is a reality and this reservation is due to political muscle of the majority. If you don't like too bad, but the reality is as is. When Adwani started his politics based on 'Hinduism in danger', I gave him credit for grabbing an opportunity to flame our fear and grab power subsequently. But, I knew he was wrong, he was cornering people ( muslims) already cornered. Both physically and emotionally. It required nobler part of human personality in muslim Indians to feel still Indian after Mr. Adwani's rath yatra.

I find myself exactly at the same place where Muslims are in India. As a Bihari, we are being cornered, spat upon, hit upon and our lives are in danger. Not in Bihar, but every place else in the country. Mr. Raj Thackerey's politics I understand and I also understand his desire to grab power, but all political movements have costs and benefits. His political benefits are to him and definitely to large section of Marathis, I believe. But, the costs are alienation of Ganga-Jamuna doab with Indian nationality. I haven't heard one prominent Marathi individual to have spoken against it. Neither do I expect them to speak. I expected from Prime Minister of India to uphold the constitution and protect me when I was attacked( I am speaking as every Bihari who has been killed).

My feelings and consequent identity has been assailed by recent events irrevocably. I remember...

Whenever I went to Barber's shop to get a hair cut as a kid, I will always see a calendar which will have portrait of SivaJee, Rana Pratap, Bhagat Singh and Chandrasekhar Azad. I can assure you today that I have no feelings for SivaJee anymore. It was drilled into my mind that what a great man he was and how he took on the might of Aurangzeb. But, now I realize that he was not an Indian but a Maratha and he had nothing common with my heritage. All this Marathaness has made me aware that my feelings for SivaJee will not be requitted and that he had nothing to do with me or my people.

In 1993-94, I was preparing for interview for UPSC and Latur was struck by earthquake. I was stunned. While I was discussing this topic with another interviewee, I became emotional about the human loss. I became angry with him to discussing this tragedy with so much detatchment. Later, one of my IAS friends came from Latur and made a remark which riled me up - 'They are really having good times. Japanese have sent large number of blankets and money and they are getting drunk and having fun." I said that I would have liked to see you having fun when every member of your family is dead in an earthquake. He apologized and told me that he misspoke and that he didn't know that I'd take it so personally. In hindsight, I guess I shouldn't have felt so bad since these very people will chase Biharis and lynch them. All the people killed are poor migrants, who were trying to make a livelihood.


All my life I spent listening to Lata mangeshkar. Her silence or silence of every other prominent Marathis makes me think that they agree with Thackerey's politics. I was never fond of cricket and so I dont give two hoots whether Mr. Tendulkar or Gavaskar or Shastri have to so anything or not.

When our best, Amitabh bachchan, is insulted regularly as if he is a nobody. If Mrs. Gandhi were alive, I would have liked to see who would have the guts to touch him.

I feel that I have betrayed my own culture for something which was nebulous(Indian) and no one else believed in it but us the suckers. In the process I got the short end of stick.

Now that I know what kind of republic India has been for Biharis, I ask myself who is to blame for this. In my opinion, the blame lies with us. We were running fool's errands when we bought the notion of India when everybody else was living their sub-national dream. And I also feel stupid that we had SivaJee pictured on calendars rather than SherShah who afterall was a Bihari. Shouldn't we see picture of Kunwar Singh and other local luminaries to occupy those places in our minds from where we define our identity?

And now that we are being kicked from everywhere, doesn't it make us stupid that we allowed and agreed for the raw materials to be shipped from Bihar-Jharkhand and in turn be a market for finished goods, almost like a colony for the rest of India.

I sincerely believe that while rest of India defined itself regionally, we were stupid enough to give up our local language, culture for united India. We were together to expel outsiders and then when they were gone, everyone else reverted back to regional identity.

First we did so on basis of religion, we just couldn't live with each other - Hindu, Muslims. Now the time has come to separate the states. and then, we can be further be divided on the basis of caste.


I always asked myself that how come India was ruled by Muslims for 1000 years and then by English for 200 years. Now I know. Mr. Raj Thackerey explained it to me clearly.

Heartfelt rantings....
It is time for central govt. to protect me and show some leadership, otherwise they can kiss their Indian dream goodbye. Nations live and die in heart and mind of its people.

If I am a Bihari in Mumbai, I am dead. If I am a Bihari in Assam, I am dead. If I am a Bihari in Delhi, I am disease.

And to Marathi Manoos and MNS members.....Here is your history. You are cowardly bastards who will kill the innocents and helpless. Your power will only show when you meet the defenseless. You will shit in your pants and your courage fails you, when Ahmed Shah Abdali came... Marathas betrayed us in 1857 by siding with Brits...Nadir Shah alone killed 30,000 in New Delhi...It seems I will re-read the Indian history and welcome each massacre with glee rather than with empathy...And now it is clear that the cost of Mr. Thackerey's politics is the above...I hope everyone understands this and is cool with it.